My ineptitude always seems larger in my head than it does when typed out on the screen. When I write about it, I’m able to look at my whining and complaints from a bit of a distance and think, “What the hell is wrong with you, Lady?! You got this!” Of course, having a positive mindset also helps (which, unfortunately, is not always the case with me). Yesterday (rather surprisingly), I decided that I am much more than the disgruntled toddler I felt like; and the adult in me did something about it.
One down, Eighty-Nine To Go
I posted in late April that I was planning to hike 90 miles in 90 days; and then, well, kind of lost my shit for a little while and forgot all about it. I still believe it was/is a solid plan. So…
After posting yesterday, I got off my butt and went for a hike. Despite the fact that it was nearly ninety-degrees outside, I managed to keep moving (with three brief stops at various benches in the park) for 46 minutes and 56 seconds, and racked up 2.36 miles.
Two Down, Eighty-Eight To Go
Last night, I set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. I got up about five minutes later, and hit the trail while it was still a comfortable seventy-degrees. One hour, one minute, and six seconds later, I’d hiked 3.35 miles without taking any bench breaks.
Now, I just got’ta do it again tomorrow!
Controlling the Binge with an App
I ate three times yesterday — responsible meals at noon and four… and then after seven, the binge-eating began. I seriously cringe at the thought of how many calories I must have consumed; but rather than shame myself for it, I’ve decided to simply accept that this problem is going to take some time and creative strategies to fix.
About a month ago, Mama told me that she and Daddy were using the “Lose It” app to lose weight. Collectively, they’ve lost about forty pounds. The idea being that you can eat anything you want, as long you stay within a calorie limit customized to your weight-loss goals.
I installed it last night; and though I’m planning to use it, I also fear tracking my calories. My biggest obstacle is going to be cutting down on sugary drinks. I have been drinking more water as of late, but sweetened beverages do come into play (probably far more than they should). I was appalled to find out that the Powerade I guzzle down after hiking contains 200 calories (which according to the damn app means I have only 55 still allotted for “breakfast”)!
I put my current weight in the app as 260 pounds (because I’m somewhere between 250 and 260), and my goal weight as 165 pounds. On the most aggressive plan (because you can customize your timeline), I can supposedly lose 2 pounds each week by sticking to 1,275 calories each day. Because I’ve never counted calories, I have no idea how much food this actually allows me to consume; but I guess I’m going to find out.
An Object in Motion Stays in Motion
After hiking yesterday, I came home and did three loads of laundry — including one that’s been sitting in the hamper for nearly a month. I’ve stated about a dozen times to Mitch, “Yeah, I know. I’m gon’na get around to it.” I’m also infamous in my home for leaving clean loads in the dryer for weeks. Clearly, Mitchell’s not the only one who doesn’t always do what he says he’s going to do. (Note to self: Apologize to your husband for not recognizing this as one of your own damn flaws.) However, I washed, dried, and folded/hung everything yesterday. Nothing was left in the dryer to frustrate the shit out of my hubby. (Score!)
I got home this morning around 7:30 a.m. and was planning to vacuum the floors; but once I got started, I noticed that the baseboards and the floor fans were in desperate need of cleaning, as was the hutch. I cleaned all of it; and it was surprisingly satisfying. By ten o’clock, I’d been on a hike, scoured my home, showered, and done my hair (really “done”, not just dried and thrown in a bun).
It’s absolutely astonishing! You can get a lot of shit done when you get your ass out of bed at 5:30 in the morning!
Go Team Felicità!
Those of you who have been on your own journeys through weight loss, while dealing with the wavering depression that plagues the mentally ill, know how elusive commitment can sometimes be.
I’ve vowed to commit to my plans more than once in the course of the last several months, stuck to it for a couple of days, and then have lost my momentum.
I can’t say with any certainty that this time will be different; but I can say that I have more support from my husband than I’ve ever had before. When he called last night from the mountain, I answered with the customary, “Hey, Baby!” In response, Mitch said, “You sound good. Did you get a hike in? Your mood is always so much better when you do.”
I’m sure (somewhere in my deep subconscious) that my sweet husband has said this before; but last night, it struck me as a revelation. He could tell I’d been hiking just by the way I said hello?! Seems I should probably keep hiking then.
In addition, Mitch stated that he has been using the treadmill every day up on the summit!
After his father passed, I suggested that we hike with his mom every Sunday, followed by brunch. He liked the idea — as did my mother-in-law — but hadn’t really committed to it… but now?! Now he wants to start making it a part of our routine. And! He stated that he’s going to try and walk with Tocho in the evenings, after I go to bed. (I crash out far earlier than he does, and we have to wait for the pavement to cool before we can safely take Tocho out. That’s just the way it is during the summer months when you live in the third ring of hell.)
I was elated by this news! If Mitch can start moving with me, then I’m far more likely to keep moving.
Perhaps we are both moving on!