I started taking my twice daily medications earlier (at six a.m./p.m. versus seven a.m./p.m.) hoping that it would make me tired earlier, and curb the binge-eating as a result. It does make me tired earlier, but did not curb the binge-eating... I just binge-eat earlier. I take Mirtazapine to induce sleep and combat night terrors … Continue reading S.O.S. – Lacking Motivation
intimacy
Betrayals & Victories
There's a well-observed (but rather inexplicable) pattern in my Borderline world: If I have a really good day (mood wise), a not-so-great one is never far behind. You know that feeling you get after a raging surge of adrenaline? When the fight-or-flight hormone ebbs its way out of your blood stream, and all your left … Continue reading Betrayals & Victories
In Reading, We May Yet Return
I know that the most important thing I can do as a writer (and this may be different for other people) is to read. Because of this belief, books were once an integral part of my life; but eight or so years ago I gave them up, when I dove headlong back into addiction. And … Continue reading In Reading, We May Yet Return
Can There Be Failure in Love? Yes.
Mitch has been home for ten days, and will be leaving again on Tuesday for his week-long run on the summit. Much like his previous stays at home, he has accomplished very little since his last arrival. He has cooked two meals, both sides of the kitchen sink are full of dirty dishes, the remaining … Continue reading Can There Be Failure in Love? Yes.
I Stopped Drinking, and Started Eating
Lately, I've felt like a bit of a fraud at twelve-step meetings for Alcoholics Anonymous. Not because I have betrayed my sobriety from alcohol and drugs, but because when I gave those things up I started binge-eating at night... and haven't been able to stop. In the depths of my nightmarish addictions, I was an … Continue reading I Stopped Drinking, and Started Eating