After writing Friday's post about the harrowing experience that my husband and I managed to survive the night before, I was extremely emotional. But instead of marinating in negative feelings (as I'm often prone to do), I decided to throw on my hiking boots and visit Sweetwater Wetlands here in Tucson. (One of my all-time … Continue reading A Beautiful Moment in Time
suicide
Creating a Borderline
I don't feel down today, but I don't feel jazzed either. I'm still stuck in the muck of shame that splattered all around me after Thursday's melee with my husband, and the subsequent suicidal ideations. (Wandering into the black banner landscape of the Borderline Borderlands is an emotionally exhausting venture.) I broke a promise -- … Continue reading Creating a Borderline
Not My Finest Hour
Yesterday afternoon and evening were black banner hours in my Borderline world. The Insurance Impetus I gathered the mail, and found four unpaid medical bills. Some were expected, like the $40 copay I owed the cardiologist because their payment system was down on the day of my appointment. Others were highly unexpected, like the $300 … Continue reading Not My Finest Hour
Borderlines and Their Banners
To be a Borderline is akin to being ruled by mercurial, weather-induced mood swings. Imagine a bright blue sky, full of warm and comforting sunshine. As you hike underneath that beautiful firmament, it feels like happiness will eternally reign over all of your days. And then? A cloud rolls in. Just one, singular, menacing cloud. … Continue reading Borderlines and Their Banners
Stealing Dreams and Crushing Plans
I've been praying a lot lately, which is entirely out of character. This wasn't always the case. In fact, faith and prayer once came naturally to me. I was raised in the Roman Catholic Church. I went to Sunday School, received my first communion, and later made the choice to be confirmed. The first time … Continue reading Stealing Dreams and Crushing Plans